Susan,
You have NO idea how much it means to me that you actually READ everything that I wrote! That is so sweet of you to read what I wrote and try to help me and unravel me! That is the nicest thing anyone can do for me.
OMG. I am def NOT perfect hahaha....there are TONS of things that I wish I could change about myself......
1) I wish I wasn't so HOT tempered! I got that from my father! I am MUCH better now....but my temper is still NOT perfect....you will meet sweet women that are always quiet and sweet and never get mad or pissed or argue....I wish that was me lol... If that was me I would be MARRIED with children by now lol....
2) I am a STRONG woman....you got that right...but sometimes that can be a bad thing...good thing is I am NOT scared to ask what I want...I am not shy to ask for it. Bad thing is I can bitch about things that are better let go....for example...my ex is a very honest guy I did NOT have to bitch about that other woman at all. He would NEVER cheat...but I am just too strong and insecure and always ask for what I really want...and what I want is for her to disappear forever! hahaha...so I ask for it....but sometimes I need to learn that if it's NOT that important then I should just drop it!
3) I wish I was more confident! If I was confident I would NEVER bitch about any woman he talks to....My insecurity is what killed my relationship.
4) Be more frugal with money......right now I am pretty frugal bc I owe 100K in student loans...most of my paycheck goes to student loans and fake casters (LOL JK! but yeah) My ex is extremely frugal....he prefers investing every penny he has lol....He and I got into a fight b/c he thinks a trip to Europe is a waste of money! I think it's expensive YES, but it's a once in a lifetime vacation...it is a nice experience. My ex thinks spending $5000 on an engagement ring is too much! I think $20,000 is okay...again it's a ONCE IN A LIFETIME EVENT! PLUS if you love someone you should be willing to do anything for them! My ideal bf would spend tons of money on me and would love me and be super generous with me....Andrew isn't like that...I will have to get use to a boyfriend that doesn't like to spend money at all and doesn't like to buy gifts or spoil me.... One time my boss messed up my pay check and had to take the money back! I already paid 5000 that month on my student loans...I owe 1300 on the 28th of every single month....I didn't have 1300 at the time...I ask my ex to let me borrow the money and I'll pay him back as soon as I get paid....he was SOOOOO MAD about it....a generous loving boyfriend would GIVE ME THE MONEY! LOL...but he got mad even though I paid him back 3 days later! WTF! Anyone elses boyfriend would GIVE UP that money easily....IF you love someone does the money even matter?????
5) I would give up Greg for Andrew....I would be OKAY with NEVER talking to him again! I gave up one of my other friends for Andrew too....Greg talks to me now...but I am OKAY with never talking to him again if Andrew comes back....
6) Be better at communication......honestly I do NOT know why Andrew thinks I do things behind his back I do NOT....I guess it's because I started talking to Greg (behind his back) and the apartment issue....I told him I was moving out...he KNEW I was moving out...that wasn't a surprise....however I just put down deposits on the apartments without talking it over with him first! He was mad about that and he was mad that I told my sister I wanted to move out BEFORE I told him.....in my defense...I was MAD AT HIM for being so nasty to me those last few days...But I still end up telling him everything AFTER I did it lol....
OVERALL I know where Andrew is coming from he thinks 1) This woman gets mad and talks to other people about her problems first before she talks to me...(I like to talk to my sister) I do eventually tell him everything...he is such a baby really... 2) This woman bitched about me talking to another woman, but she turns around and talks to her ex Greg....(That is MY FAULT fine....but if that other woman really doesn't mean much to you does it matter???? why do you NEED HER? that's what I don't get) 3) It's just one thing after another....that's from his own words....he says I always have something come up....whether it's my insecurities with that other woman or the apartment issue or the trip to Europe or borrowing money from him...I always have something come up...whats next?
Lastly, he thinks I have LOW morals, I am NOT a good person, I am NOT a nice person etc. B/c of all this....WTF...that's what I don't get. What did I do that was REALLY THAT BAD???? did I cheat on him? NO. Did I spend his money? NO (I use my own money) yes I got bitchy with him over the other woman okay fine I was wrong...but AGAIN if that woman don't mean shit to him...then WHY DOES IT MATTER?????
I am still waiting on what I did that makes me so wrong and unforgettable!
Andrew can't find anyone better.....that other woman won't even drive 1.5 hrs here to see him....I MOVED TO FLORIDA FOR HIM! And she is better? I am younger and hotter! What is he thinking?
He is still single and most likely NOT talking to her...but still. LOL...Should I put a spell or curse on that woman????? If it will help me I will put a huge curse or get someone to do it for me! lol...
So what do you think???? I been broken up for 6 months now...do I still have a chance???
I hope my honey jar works...at least get Andrew to remove all these CRAZY ideas about me out of his head.....some of it is so stupid and not true!