Newbie looking for help

[mimosastar]

Hello my name is Mimosa, for some time now my boyfriend and myself have been going through some tumultuous times. I will start from the beginning.

I knew Adam from when we were kids in school. We went our separate paths as we got older and reconnected 2 years ago to find love with one another.

I had just left my husband because he was abusive and ended up having to give guardianship to my now ex-husbands mother while I tried to get my life straightened out.

Adam took me in when I was at my lowest point in my life, the drugs and alcohol had gotten the better of me because I was so depressed of losing my kids. But Adam was there, he promised to take care of me and to help me get my life straightened out. He had a good job at the time and we were planning on starting our life over with each other.

But then things got bad, he was laid off (working under the table, he cannot file for unemployment). He then tried working for another company which fired him because they thought he didn't do the job right (he was in the concrete business). Since then he has tried to work side jobs to get us by.

This has been going on for about a year and a half now. We barely scrape by and sold all of our possessions for food or basic necessities. We live with a roommate and stay in the bedroom for most of the time reasons being; it's not our house. We live in a rural area so the closest store is four miles away. We have no money for gas and our roommate says it's ok to borrow his truck if we found a job but then it's a problem if we do have to use it.

We feel like we are in between a rock and a hard place, and on top of that Adam has had a hernia for 6 years. We have tried to get help to get surgery to get it fixed but that too did not work out for us.

It's getting worse everyday it seems like. I hate to see Adam so depressed and not feeling like the man he wants to be for me. I know it breaks his heart that he told me he would take care of me and he can't. I reassure him daily that he does because if it weren't for him I would be out on the street.

Everyday it pains me to see other people enjoying being with their kids and I don't have them with me. I am ready to have my children back and to share them with Adam. He wants them back with me so I can be happy and he can take care of us like we should have been.

I know I've made mistakes in the past, but I can't possibly have to pay for it the rest of my life, can I?

[J Simulcik]

I would recommend a reading with any of the AIRR practitioners. You have a lot going on, and they can point you in the right direction and help you through it. The website is: http://readersandrootworkers.org/index. ... ootworkers

Good luck and welcome to the forum!

[mimosastar]

And how am I supposed to pay for these rootworkers? Not trying to sound mean but I have no money.

[gemini2]

A reading is always best because you can get some sound input and point you in the right direction. I know a lot of times it can seem like we don't have money but even if it's just $10 saved per your paycheck then you would have it after a bit (I didn't see above if you were employed or not). Unfortunately I've noticed for most things it can take time, time to get advising, time to get materials and time for it to work. I would suggest reading Luckymojo.com pages then and do some work yourself if you cannot afford a rootworker. Some things can be gathered from your home for the spells, they aren't totally unobtainable.

I am a newbie here, but i've been practising folk magic for years. I've also been living off what i like to call a 'barely making it budget' ^.^ I know it's hard. I have had and still have a similar situation, but prioratizing and tackling one thing at a time can do wonders. You just have to take a deep breath and find out where to begin.

Maybe for now check out
http://www.luckymojo.com/mojocatcandleservices.html

Under Cost LM mentioned for immediate needs they will light a small candle for an hour with no charge. Perhaps a church in your area (I've only attended Catholic church regularly, but i don't see why not all would do this) can offer advice (maybe a suggestion of services?) and blessings, candle lightings and prayer.

But over all change can start with you, all the power of thought is free, as is prayer I hope this helps some. Like I said I'm new on this board but I know how you feel when life is just one thing right after another and you feel like there should be a pause button ><

[catherineyronwode]

Start with some affirmations. Set yourself some goals. If nothing else, go door to door and offer to clean houses, rake lawns, fetch and carry, do something for people.

Are you in a program like AA or NA? If so, talk to your sponsor about trying to find work. They will try to help, as best they can.

Is there a church near to you that you attend? Again, if you build social contacts in a church and there are people in the church sick, disabled, or in need of help, they will offer the jobs to others in the church who are in need of work.

Do you smoke tobacco? Quit it and save a bundle, not to mention saving your lungs.

A ten minute reading is ten dollars from many of the readers at AIRR, myself included.

[burzel]

it sounds as if you have some negativity hanging around you, especially if your bf lost his job and has since had trouble getting / keeping one. go for a walk, you said you live in a rural area, so see what you find in your area. cleansing and keeping where you are most of the time clean and orderly will make you feel better and start you on a good path.

i agree with trying to get a reading, it can help put things into perspective and find out why things are going so bad at the moment, i have a hunch but i'd rather not say anything, if you really can't afford the reading at this moment in time, until you get the money together, try protection or prosperity herbs, of course only after first doing a thorough cleansing.

[mimosastar]

Thanks for all the wonderful advice. But it's hard to go out when we have no car. Even to a church like some of you have mentioned. We don't make any income at all. Our food comes from his mom who is on a fixed income. He has to always find a way to get to her house to get our rations of food. Everything we have is someone else's. We haven't payed our rent to our roommate in over a year. Luckily he's not too upset about this but he still does make a habit about mentioning about how we have no money. We try constantly to find a job over the computer but it's hard when we don't have a contact number. No one can get a hold of us. We are really stuck.

[gemini2]

Ok, so this all depends on where are you are in but I'm sure there is something similar.
"Community Voice Mail (CVM) provides voice mailboxes to phoneless people, enabling them to communicate with potential employers, landlords and human service providers. "

Also there might be food programs in your area as well. I've been down and out in a few cities trust me and if it's one thing I've learned there is always free food, free clothing and free health care you just need to know where to look. And yes it takes some effort.

In the mean time I'd re-check and see if there are ANY churches near to you. Seriously, just because you cannot recall one doesn't mean there isn't a community center or church around you. To give up and say 'well it's not that easy' or 'they are too far away' -- well it will be your possible help line, so I suggest you try harder to get to it. I've had to walk for an hour and a half or so just to haul groceries so unless they are about 3 walking hours out of your way I won't take excuses.

I'm sending all good thoughts your way, and I hope this helps you! If I knew what area I might also be able to look somethings up, but you can too since you have computer. And I want to remind you about positive thought and prayer because I think that's where it starts. It's free, and under you control. An exercise I've used in the past is before I go to sleep or when I wake up I run through a list out loud and say "thank you for my car, thank you for my family, thank you for my friends, thank you for my shoes which are keeping together etc etc.." it makes me feel happier to hear all the little things even. Usually after a good house cleaning and affirmative positive thoughts it can attract new opportunities and positive situations. And if you don't have a wad of cash to start buying supplies then it's useless to suggest so, so start with YOU.

[catherineyronwode]

What great advice, gemini, and thanks for mentioning community voice mail -- we have similar services where i live, too.

Since trying to get a job over the computer has not helped you or resulted in one job in more than a year, then stop that method. Get out and walk and physically look for work.

There are many social programs, both governmental and church-sponsored, that can help, although, as gemini and i have said, you may have to walk a ways to get to the help you need. I just want to chime in and say that back in the mid-1970s, when i was in need -- abandoned by my ex, living alone with my little daughter, no car, unable to drive, no phone, and in a four-room cabin, subsisting on what i could do in the way of astrology charts and sewing repairs for people in a town of less than 200 residents -- i would walk 3 miles each way to get my "welfare cheese." And as i walked those 3 miles each way, i picked up trash by the side of the road, to keep the highway beautiful, as a gesture of thanks to the government for what they gave us in the way of butter, cheddar cheese, peanut butter, and powdered milk. With a small backyard garden of vegetables to add to our diet, those surplus foods were actually enough for us to live on -- but i had to scratch the dirt and plant the seeds myself to get that garden to grow.

There is a great Motown song from 1963 called "Welfare Cheese" by Emanuel Lasky. I still have my copy of this record! ("We need it! We need it!") and it reminds me of how very far i have come since those financially frightening days. Hear the song here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yx4QMiGCTns

So, the first thing to do is you get up, walk away from the computer, and find people who can help. Ask for jobs along the way, as you walk, or clean up the roads, like i did, to pay society back for helping you. Establish a credit balance with the world. Spring is coming -- plant vegetables.

I too am sending positive thoughts, and hope that soon you will post back with better news.

And also, because i am a nostalgic nut case, and the lyrics to "Welfare Cheese" by Emanuel Lasky are not currently anywhere on the internet, i am posting them here, for the convenience of Motown fans everywhere:

"Welfare Cheese"
by Thelma Gordy, Richard Street, and Emanuel Lasky
Sung by Emanuel Lasky
Thelma Records, 1963

¥eah, yeah, yeah now,
I say hey-hey-hey, yeah, yeah now
Ah, my-y-y-y, oh, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah
(We need it! We need it! We need it! We need it!)

I said early in the morning, 'bout the break of day
We make it on down the Mile Freeway
Oh, but mister, oh, mister, won't you please now
Send me some of that welfare cheese --

(Ooooh) yeah, yeah, yeah
(Ooooh) yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(We need it! We need it! We need it! We need it!)

I said, you don't have to wear satin and silk
To get that old dry commodity milk
Whoa, but mister, oh, mister, won't you please now
Send me some of that welfare cheese --

(Ooooh) yeah, yeah, yeah
(Ooooh) yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, now
(We need it! We need it! We need it! We need it!)

I said oh, baby, baby, baby can't you hear?
We all get that stuff out here
Oh, but Kennedy, oh, mister, won't you please, now
Send me some of that welfare cheese --

(Ooooh) yeah, yeah, yeah
(Ooooh) yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(We need it! We need it! We need it! We need it!)

(fantastic Motown guitar break!)

(We need it! We need it! We need it! We need it!)

I said hurry, Mr, Kennedy, it's an emergency,
Send me some of that welfare cheese,
Oh, but mister, oh, mister, won't you please now
Send me some of that welfare cheese --

(Ooooh) yeah, yeah, yeah
(Ooooh) yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(We need it! We need it! We need it! We need it!)

Oh my-my-my (We need it!)
Come on, baby (We need it!)
Early in the morning (We need it!)
After noon time (We need it!)
Oh my-my-my-my (We need it!)
Come on, baby (We need it!)

[Loved]

Get up with the sunrise and find a nice path or road that you can walk. While walking say the 23rd Psalm. Say it over and over and over, nine times. Don't rush through it. Listen to yourself say the words. Really come to understand the words - and what this psalm is truly saying.

When you reach the ninth time say thank you and head back home. On your way back home give thanks for everything that you have, out loud.

When you reach home, jot down all the thoughts and solutions to your situation that come to you. Don't censor them, don't punctuate...just write. Do this everyday with faith that the open door is right in front of you and you will begin to see the changes.

At home, put any spare change you may have - nickels, dimes, quarters - on top of your (bedroom) door. (The molding at the top of the door). If you close your door and some of the coins fall, it's a reminder of all the blessings that you do have. Pick it up, put it back and say out loud - "I will always have more than emough to do all that I need to do"

Also put a few coins in the windowsill corners to attract more money. (courtesy of my mom's teaching)

You will come through this. Sending you love, faith and prayers
PS-
When you save up ten dollars (extra), get a ten minute reading from an AIRR. It will help give you clarity. It helped me tremendously.

[mimosastar]

Thank you all again for the wonderful ideas. I hope to update all of you with better news soon!